Untitled for now.

    Hi guys. my name is Ciera Yglesias, and I'm working on writing a story. This is what I have so far. So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE tell me your honest opinion of what you think about it. (:

    Its dark, pitch black in this nameless evil place. I feel the walls for support, to try to find my way out. I see a bright yellow light. I follow it, without questioning what it could be. I feel as if I'm memorized by it. My heart quickens because every step I take brings me farther into this unknown world.
    One last step around this corner and I'll be out of this darkness. I turn the corner, and I see nothing but death, destruction, and despair. There are these little unidentified creatures going around and attacking everything in sight. I see familiar faces, but i can't place them. They are flying around with... WINGS?! IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!
    The winged people are attacking the monsters. Eventually they get over powered and they just vanish! I look for the center of all the destruction, and ITS ME! But I don't look like me. I'm glowing bright yellow, almost as bright as a shooting star. I have wings, they were crescent shaped, and as dark as the midnight sky. My face is outlined by tattoos of stars, but I'm not alone.
    I'm holding hands with a guy, who's glowing the color of blood red. This guy has horns of the Devil, and pitch black eyes, that seem bottomless. The Devil and I are looking at each other with so much passion, that we're oblivious to everything around us.
    "Hoshiko!" Someone yelled my name, the voice was similar to me. I looked around and saw my best friend Yami. She looked so defeated. she spoke to me and said "You betrayed us all."
    That's when I woke up, screaming.